Next Contestant
by Myde the Turk
Summary: Rude is mad that people are hitting on his girlfriend, Tifa. Myde finds a song that works with it and plays it. AU, Light xover with KH. RudeTifa, MydeLeon. Oneshot


Next Contestant

I like this song. It's by Nickelback. I thought it should be Rude and Tifa's song. Rude had told Reno that he liked Tifa, so that made me think of Rude and Tifa dating. Then, I was listening to the song and I was like, "Whoa, Rude/Tifa; that's their song." It's set in an alternate FFVII universe, and with KH stuffs. Like Myde (Kind of, he's my Demy Somebody & is a Turk) and Leon being there. This is a RuTi oneshot, so don't expect any more to it. In this, the Turks are a special branch of the police, designed to deal with terrorists; it's kind of like the SWAT force.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, nor the song. They belong to their respective owners.

* * *

Rude hated it when people stared at Tifa. She was _his_ girlfriend, damn it. Why wouldn't they stare at _Lea_ for Gaia's sake?! Oh, that's right. He's Reno's younger brother and for some odd reason, friends with Myde. That's two Turks right there. There was no way anyone would try to do anything to him, with those two protecting him. The last guy to try got electrocuted and his balls shot off.

Scary…the two of them were barely into their twenties and they often fought each other just as much as they fought the enemy. The EMR wielder and the gunner were just kids, really.

They often moonlighted at Tifa's bar just to help out. Myde was a DJ and Reno delivered drinks.

"Heya, Rude," Myde said. He was taking a short break, so the music was set on shuffle for about twenty minutes. For some reason, his headphones were slung around his neck. "You're pissed, aren't you?" the kid asked, stretching and sitting down at the table by Rude.

There was no answer from the larger bald man.

"Well, I've got an idea. Just wait," Myde said. He slipped from Rude's side and was up by the DJ table in a manner of seconds. "Alright everybody, this next song is dedicated to a good friend of mine and his problem. Take a listen."

_I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming on to her  
Each night seems like it's getting worse  
And I wish she'd take the night off  
So I don't have to fight off  
Every asshole coming on to her_

Damn, Myde was good. He managed to get it right. Perceptive little annoyance.

_It happens every night she works  
They'll go and ask the DJ  
Find out just what would she say  
If they all tried coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work  
They think they'll get inside her  
With every drink they buy her  
As they all try coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt  
_

People were always asking Myde for her number. Rude could see them, and it pissed him off to no end.

_Here comes the next contestant  
_  
_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
There goes the next contestant  
_

Someone was going to get hurt. The next person to ask, or put his hand on Tifa's ass was getting the hell beat out of him.

_I even fear the ladies  
They're cool but twice as crazy  
Just as bad for coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work  
Each time she bats an eyelash  
Somebody's grabbing her ass  
Everyone is coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt  
Here comes the next contestant_

The girls were getting just as bad as the men, if not worse. They were jealous of their boyfriends staring at Tifa, and some of them were hitting on her.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
There goes the next contestant  
_

Rude was going to hurt the next person to touch Tifa. That was it, end of story.

_I'm hating what she's wearing  
Everybody here keeps staring  
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve  
This time somebody's getting hurt  
Here comes the next contestant  
_

There, that was the person to touch Tifa for the last time. Rude stood up, strode over to the man, cracked his knuckles and glared. Reno noticed and motioned for Lea to get the hell out of there. He was taking no chances of his little brother getting hurt. Myde noticed also and nodded to his boyfriend Leon, who shut the door after making sure Lea left.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
Each night seems like it's getting worse  
I wish you'd do it again  
This time somebody's getting hurt  
There goes the next contestant_

"Whoa, calm down Rude. I'm sure we can talk this trough, yo," Reno said, coming up to Rude.

"And why would I do that, Reno?" Rude turned his glare to Reno.

"Because I've been recording the whole thing," Leon said. "I could get the whole lot of them for sexual harassment." Leon worked for the police as well, just in a different department from Rude, Reno and Myde. "I was told about this by Myde and Reno. So, who wants to be jailed?" And people wondered why he liked Myde. It's a wonder they got along at all. Must be a sadism thing.

"Thanks, love. Now all we have to do is figure out who it was, and get them." Myde had snuck over to the small group and slung an arm over his boyfriend.

"Thank you boys, but you should probably get back to work," Tifa said. She stood behind Rude. "And, Rude, dear. You know who I'm going home with, so why are you so upset? True, I'm going to sue for sexual harassment, and thanks to those three, I can finally get the perpetrators." She hugged Rude and walked over to the bar and went behind it.

"Right; well, Leon, why don't you figure out who's been harassing Teef and I've got to get back behind the DJ stand before Teef kills me. Later, love," Myde said, giving Leon a quick peck on the cheek.

"Right My. I'll see you later." Leon left, probably to get the suspects dwindled down.

"Well, Rude, since our shift begins early tomorrow, I'm going to hit the hay. Later Teef!" Reno said.

"Bye Reno," Tifa yelled back. "Rude, could you help me move these boxes? They're too much for me to move." Rude grinned slightly at this. Tifa was his, there was no doubt about it.

* * *

So, what do you guys think? I don't think it was my best, but it showed the RuTi relationship as well as my Myde/Leon relationship. Yes, Reno and Lea (Axel) are brothers in this. And they're all in the policing business. Except for Lea. Please Review.

Hey, if you know my chaptered Fic, A Return to Something, it might not be updated for a bit. I'm trying to get more chapters written before I update. Just so you know.


End file.
